This one made me belly laugh!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Funeral Today
I spent the day with a friend, traveled to a near by city, and attended his mother's funeral. It made me remember my mom's funeral. And it made me remember how much I appreciate that I was and am able to be a mom for my kids.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Lego Land
http://www.legolanddiscoverycenter.com/Chicago
I am supposed to be cleaning house. But that involves sorting through a few piles of stuff - of which one had the AAA magazine. Before throwing it in the recycle bin I wanted to browse through it, and I found that Chicago has a lego land. I didn't realize it. Looks like a fun place for the grand-kids to take me.
I am supposed to be cleaning house. But that involves sorting through a few piles of stuff - of which one had the AAA magazine. Before throwing it in the recycle bin I wanted to browse through it, and I found that Chicago has a lego land. I didn't realize it. Looks like a fun place for the grand-kids to take me.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
From My Email Bag Today (Adult humor)
Obviously written by a man. But I got a chuckle out of it.
The Stimulus explained
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus
payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q
and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to
China ..
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ..
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala .
* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan ..
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)
So, I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a
yard sale and we're going to drink beer all day!
The Stimulus explained
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus
payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q
and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to
China ..
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ..
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala .
* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan ..
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)
So, I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a
yard sale and we're going to drink beer all day!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Book For This Week 1/17/10
by
From Barnes&Nobel's:
Synopsis
Strange Days
Winter gripped the city. Terror gripped it,
too. They found four corpses in four days,
each more hideous than the last.
Strange Nights
At first the cops thought they were dealing
with a psychopath. But soon they heard
and saw unearthly silver eyes in the
snow-slashed night.
Final Hours
In a city paralyzed by a blizzard, something
watches, something stalks…
(I just finished listening to this on audio on my way home tonight. A gift, it is not the type of book that I would normally pick out, but it sure kept me awake at the wheel! Remember to click on the author's name and the book title to learn more.)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Seafood, Steak & Ribs | Flanagan's Restaurant and Pub
http://www.eatatflanagans.com/menu/seafood-steak
While normally I cook every other time Mark and I get together and he takes me out every other time, he spoiled me and took me out again this evening. He let me pick this time and I picked Flanagan's. This link is to their menu. I had the Seafood platter with rice pilaf, broccoli, and french onion soup. It was wonderful. He had the prime rib and it looked yummy too.
While normally I cook every other time Mark and I get together and he takes me out every other time, he spoiled me and took me out again this evening. He let me pick this time and I picked Flanagan's. This link is to their menu. I had the Seafood platter with rice pilaf, broccoli, and french onion soup. It was wonderful. He had the prime rib and it looked yummy too.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
From my email bag tonight - I guess we need to keep our sense of humor.
The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new Obama health care proposals.
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the
Assholes in Washington.
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the
Assholes in Washington.
From the email bag this afternoon
When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.
What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.
What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Back To Work Tomorrow
Sometimes I can feel overwhelmed but I learned a long time ago to divide large tasks into baby steps, take the baby steps and soon the large task is completed.
A Smile to Start the Week
With all this talk about health care reform and insurance companies, it seemed like a little humor about coverage was appropriate.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
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