Educated by Tara Westover

Educated

By

Tara Westover

The county in which I live has a "Clinton County Reads" selection once a year.  They have various activities surrounding a book that is selected for that year and the ending event is a dinner at the nicest restaurant in the county seat.  This year the book that was picked is Educated by Tara Westover.  Since I work second shift I can't attend any of the events.  But I still wanted to join in and read the book.  It is a memoir.  I am not a big fan of memoirs because I think every one who goes through any given situation has a different idea of what happened.  I have to give the author credit for acknowledging this throughout her book.  I also do not enjoy reading about abuse.  In the book there is one older brother who physically abuses the author.  I have a hard time with victims of abuse.  It isn't that I don't believe them.  I understand that even if their memory isn't perfect, in order to have the PTSD associated with a past of abuse something significant had to have happened to imprint the event on the psyche.  If the details are not perfectly remembered it doesn't matter.  Something major took place.  Therefore I believe victims.  But I can't accept the victim mentality.  I have always said "I don't do victim."  If I had experienced an abusive relationship maybe I would understand better what goes through a person's mind who is being abused by someone they love.  But in my mind it is ludicrous to remain in a situation where one is mistreated.  The logical thing to do is leave.  If unable to leave the next choice is to incapacitate the abuser.  Throughout the book there were many opportunities for the author to incapacitate her brother but she never seemed to have any idea that she could be in control.   At one point he had rolled his motorcycle off the road into a snow bank and was hurt so badly his brains were seeping out of a hole in his head.  Tara drove up behind him and instead of turning around and leaving she got him into her car and took him to the hospital.  In my opinion she was under no obligation to help him.  There were others at the scene of the accident to fill that role.  I realize she loved her brother but in order to really love someone a person has to love themself.  How can a person love themself and allow themself to be mistreated?  While avoidance is my coping mechanism of choice, if unable to avoid, and abusive behavior doesn't stop when the person is told to stop,  I fully believe in self defense.  Even if I love a person, I love myself more, and can't imagine remaining in an abusive situation.  Women can't depend on others to defend them.  Society in general does not care to get involved.  We must defend ourselves.  It is important that we do not initiate violence and that we do not escalate situations.  Sometimes one needs to know when to sit down and shut up and re-address an issue of conflict at another time. But when backed into a corner with no escape sometimes one has to kick some ass - even if a person has to plot and scheme a bit to do so.  Educated will not be a favorite book of mine for this year.  It is well written and I do think the story is a valuable one.  Perhaps it will help some people to get out of unhealthy family situations.  If so that is a good thing.  Educated is not a book that I will recommend to others because I found it depressing.  Please click on the book title and author's name above to learn more information.  I am posting three videos below.  One is of an interview with the author.  One is of the author singing a hymn.  And the third one is the author's mother and sister talking about some oils from the essential oil business the family runs.  There has been debate whether to believe Tara's story or believe her family who say she exaggerates.   Watch the three videos and decide for yourself who you believe.  I am glad she got out.  I wish she would not have left that one brother behind to terrorize his wife, children, nieces, nephews and his other sister.  I hope one of them finds a way to stop him.